Updated: Mar 12, 2018
For reasons that will soon become apparent, I've been reflecting a lot on my past lately. As I put things into perspective, I realize that the more I let my brain and ego run the show the more fear-ridden I get and the deeper into addiction I let myself slip. This had been the scary-movie merry-go-round I'd been stuck on for decades.
It's crazy what we find when we take the time to have a good sober look at our past. Crazier still is what we rationalize as "normal" behaviour simply because we're too afraid to be honest with ourselves. How do you think your 5-year-old self would react to you spending an afternoon hunched over your phone on social media when it's bright and sunny outside? What would he/she think of you drinking away most of what precious, little time you have away from work? Or spending it all playing video-games? What would they say to someone who can barely stand their job or have grown complacent of their career?
For a very long time now, my 5-year-old's voice was stifled. I kept it at bay in order to grow up, be successful, and become the man I was meant to be. Through this recent introspective period, I'm starting to notice that the opposite is actually true. Who we are meant to be has A LOT to do with our inner-child. That child needs to be heard. You, the adult, need to cultivate empty space in your busy schedule to reconnect with that youthful, wonderful energy. Pick up a ball. Go get lost at the edges of town. Run as fast as you can through a field while singing that Belinda Carlisle tune you secretly love so much. Draw something. Put together a puzzle. Do something that you haven't done in years that really excites you. The possibilities for re-cultivating our youthfulness are limitless.
My life has recently hit a series of rock-bottoms. Given that, I find it funny that, in a time when I should be most worried about the future - a time when I should be grinding it every day - I find serenity in giving up control, having fun, and listening to that youthful intuitive voice - the one in my gut screaming RED ROVER! RED ROVER!
Becoming "true to ourselves" is to not deny ANY part of ourselves. It's accepting every part of our wholeness: the good, the bad, the ugly, the childish, the immature, the crazy, the insane, the hysterical, the brave, the daring, the ALL. I encourage you to make room for the inner-child you've most likely neglected over the years. Sure, you still have to get up, go to work, and provide for your family. I mean, you can't lose yourself in TOTAL wild abandon... Can you?