Updated: Mar 2, 2018
Are you aware of the story you're writing? Yes! You. It's crucial to know that everyday whether you're aware of it or not, you are creating a story. Its hero? YOU, you silly goose!
See when I left home to pursue a career in performance arts, my idols up to that point were mostly tortured rockstars. Because of that, even though I had great confidence in my talents, my subconscious thoughts were telling me that I had not suffered enough to create good art - that I was unworthy. Don't get me wrong, I was not really talented at first but years of academic success had shot me out of high school with an inflated ego that told me I'd be a great actor. Conflictingly, I also had deep subconscious beliefs that I hadn't suffered enough.
Well, guess what happened?
I spent almost 15 years in alcoholism and addiction - oscillating between fear of succeeding and fear of failing. Despite my fears, I managed to self-produced A LOT of work. However, looking back, I see most of it as hurried, frenetic, pressure-cooked outbursts of creativity. I didn't have the patience to produce quality work, I was busy suffering.
But dreams do come true if you work long and hard enough at it and by the age of 35 I had run my life completely to the ground. My mental health was on a steady decline, I was isolating myself more and more, I was struggling to get by, and worse yet, I was indebted to the point of considering bankruptcy.
In spite of all this, deep down, I always knew I wasn't writing a tragedy. I'm in recovery now and I'm picking up the pieces. It's relieving now to gaze back on the depths of the valleys I had to explore. Pay attention to what you tell yourself and, more importantly, to what your subconscious is telling you. It can be a sneaky little ______. Take the time to journal and meditate to uncover your subconscious beliefs. You'll be surprised by what you find.
Article published : 03/02/2018
Video published : 09/06/2017